Arnold Schwarzenegger has decided to take a stand against the orgy of gay marriages coming out of San Francisco City Hall. Whatever one thinks of the legitimacy of gay marriage, I think this is a brilliant move for City Hall and a win-win situation for everyone. The San Fran authorities obviously have a wonderful PR campaign on their hands. The media gets a controversial story full of suspense and intrigue. When will the courts stop the marriages? (Any day now.) Will they be declared null and void? (Probably.) Will there be a huge uprising with protests and mock marriages all over the nation? You bet! Conservatives aren’t left out in the cold either. Neo-fascist conservatives like Bill O’Reilly will score bonus points by decrying the “moral decay of America,” and the shadowy liberal conspiracy known as the “secular/humanist movement.”

I’m pleased with the move too — the hippies are too busy attacking “the institution of marriage” to protest capitalism and war on terror, and the conservatives are too distracted fighting a battle they lost 40 years ago to wage their campaign of FCC censorship. Meanwhile, politicians of both parties will be busy announcing “pro-marriage” bills and amendments (which have zero chance of long-term success) to figure out new ways to divorce me from my money. Since national politicians of both parties cannot afford to alienate a large percentage of their electorate, no kind of coherent stand for or against gay marriage will come out of Congress. The only loser in the whole thing is the rule of law, which City Hall has blatantly ignored – but then California laws are so screwed up as it is that it might not be such a bad thing.