June 1st, 2004

duh

I bought an apple pie today. The top of the container has the words “NOT FOR WEIGHT CONTROL.” Is there an apple pie that you do eat for weight control, or is this warning for idiots who are liable to sue because they got fat from eating too many pies? Don’t they watch South Park?

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Dear god(s), Grant me courage and eloquence to boldly speak the truth when I know it; honesty to keep my mouth shut when I don't, the wisdom to know the difference, and the determination and integrity to discover the facts.
--David Veksler