February 29th, 2004
Top Twelve Reasons Not to Support Gay Marriage
I came across “Top Twelve Reasons Not to Support Gay Marriage” at Neurosophy and would like to include it here, since the list seems to be in the public domain. (The only one I disagree with is #8.)
- Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control.
- Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can’t legally get married because the world needs more children.
- Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
- Straight marriage will be less meaningful, since Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.
- Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are property, blacks can’t marry whites, and divorce is illegal.
- Gay marriage should be decided by people not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.
- Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.
- Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
- Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
- Children can never suceed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why single parents are forbidden to raise children.
- Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven’t adapted to cars or longer lifespans.
- Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a “seperate but equal” institution is always constitutional. Seperate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as seperate marriages for gays and lesbians will.
5 Responses to “Top Twelve Reasons Not to Support Gay Marriage”
Why do you disagree with #8?
By John Galt March 2nd, 2004 at 7:13 am
Because there is a very strong correlation between lifestyle and sexual orientation – as practiced, at least. The cause-effect relationship isn’t very hard to figure out, especially considering that strict heterosexuality is associated with bigotry or homophobia in such circles.
By David March 2nd, 2004 at 8:45 am
Pretty funny.
Although with regard to number #8 might we safely conclude that the couple was gay BEFORE they got married?
By Trey Givens March 3rd, 2004 at 3:44 am
Are you guys blind and ignorant? Like all of these reasons are promoting discrimination and all of them are wrong…
1. Homosexuality IS natural, you see it in many animals
2. Infertile and Old people ARE legally allowed to get married, why should you discriminate them becuase of thier infertility or age?
3. Not true at all, you would never have homosexuals if this were true because they would have been raised by heterosexuals
4. This isn’t true either, straight-marriages won’t be anything less, why would they be? Because freedom is being insured for others?
5. Women are NOT property, inter-raccial marriages are legal, why should they not be? And divorces arn’t illegal.
6. Protecting the rights of the minorities is called protecting the rights of humans.
7. We have something called freedom of religion in our country… yes some religion is imposed on us by the government, but not that much.
8. That’s not true, and you can already see that.
9. That’s not true, it’s just allowing people a right they deserve and a dog dosn’t have legal standing at all.
10. Single parents arn’t forbidden to raise children, and people won’t fail with just one parent or homosexual parents.
11. We HAVE adapted to cars and longer lifespans, sad to see that you can’t see that. Homosexual marriages have been around before the Romans.
12. That’s against the law and supporting discrimination of race and sexuality.
All of these reasons seem VERY conservative and religiously biased with no respect to the human race at all.
By A Liberal-Liberatarian March 4th, 2004 at 6:53 am
I can’t believe anyone took this obvious joke seriously. I thought that list was hilarious!
By Sean Gundlach March 5th, 2004 at 1:57 am