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November 16th, 2003

Kabbalah is NOT a New Age movement…riiiight

I was browsing the web, when I came across the “Kabbalah Centre.” It’s basically Madonna’s attempt to make some money from the New Age movement. I was sure that this was a new age deal when the first thing the video on the homepage said is “Kabbalah is NOT a New Age movement.” The web site is actually very well designed, and sells all sort of neat stuff, like a $36 piece of string (“The Red String protects us from the influences of the Evil Eye”) and $20 t-shirt with mystical “ego-conquering” powers (“Simply focus your eyes on the letters, then visualize destroying your ego.”) Anyway, Rabbi Madonna has some advice for doctors:

A patient was rushed into the ER with a heart attack. …. I asked that he be taken to the lab, and his heart actually stopped twice on the way. As it turned out, his right coronary artery was completely blocked. We worked on him for about 30 minutes, but nothing was helping. Whatever we tried failed. I felt so helpless. My last option was to start meditating intensely upon the healing sequence..Out of nowhere, the blocked artery opened!And even for network administrators:
Hebrew letters transmit spiritual signals. In the language of the Internet, they do it in broadband. Consider them T3 lines. Faster than DSL. Quicker than cable modems. They’re like fiber optic lines carrying the full spectrum of cosmic energy. I gotta get me some of that kabbalaic T3 ego-conquering power, baby, yeah!

Posted by David in Mysticism |

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