Top Twelve Reasons Not to Support Gay Marriage

I came across “Top Twelve Reasons Not to Support Gay Marriage” at Neurosophy and would like to include it here, since the list seems to be in the public domain. (The only one I disagree with is #8.)

  1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control.
  2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can’t legally get married because the world needs more children.
  3. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
  4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful, since Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.
  5. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are property, blacks can’t marry whites, and divorce is illegal.
  6. Gay marriage should be decided by people not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.
  7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.
  8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
  9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
  10. Children can never suceed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why single parents are forbidden to raise children.
  11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven’t adapted to cars or longer lifespans.
  12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a “seperate but equal” institution is always constitutional. Seperate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as seperate marriages for gays and lesbians will.

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0 Responses to Top Twelve Reasons Not to Support Gay Marriage

  1. John Galt

    Why do you disagree with #8?

  2. David

    Because there is a very strong correlation between lifestyle and sexual orientation – as practiced, at least. The cause-effect relationship isn’t very hard to figure out, especially considering that strict heterosexuality is associated with bigotry or homophobia in such circles.

  3. Pretty funny.

    Although with regard to number #8 might we safely conclude that the couple was gay BEFORE they got married?

  4. A Liberal-Liberatarian

    Are you guys blind and ignorant? Like all of these reasons are promoting discrimination and all of them are wrong…
    1. Homosexuality IS natural, you see it in many animals
    2. Infertile and Old people ARE legally allowed to get married, why should you discriminate them becuase of thier infertility or age?
    3. Not true at all, you would never have homosexuals if this were true because they would have been raised by heterosexuals
    4. This isn’t true either, straight-marriages won’t be anything less, why would they be? Because freedom is being insured for others?
    5. Women are NOT property, inter-raccial marriages are legal, why should they not be? And divorces arn’t illegal.
    6. Protecting the rights of the minorities is called protecting the rights of humans.
    7. We have something called freedom of religion in our country… yes some religion is imposed on us by the government, but not that much.
    8. That’s not true, and you can already see that.
    9. That’s not true, it’s just allowing people a right they deserve and a dog dosn’t have legal standing at all.
    10. Single parents arn’t forbidden to raise children, and people won’t fail with just one parent or homosexual parents.
    11. We HAVE adapted to cars and longer lifespans, sad to see that you can’t see that. Homosexual marriages have been around before the Romans.
    12. That’s against the law and supporting discrimination of race and sexuality.

    All of these reasons seem VERY conservative and religiously biased with no respect to the human race at all.

  5. Sean Gundlach

    I can’t believe anyone took this obvious joke seriously. I thought that list was hilarious!

  6. RainbowsROCK

    You Would Actually Take Time To Do This? Doest Matter What You Do Gays Will Always Be Around, Love Has No Rules So If You Dont Like It Keep Your Opinions To YourSelf.

  7. xxInvaderDanixx

    We have religious freedom in this country. I’d call you a dumb*** but i dont feel like it. BE HONORED!

  8. Paige,Brittany,Sarah

    Clearly you are either stupid, blind, or don’t live in America or wrote this in the 1800s, because almost none of this is true.

    1. Homosexuality isn’t a choice, it’s been proven it is something you are born with.
    2. We have what, millions of people in the world starving, we don’t need any more children. 3 children are born every second in America alone, and even more now. Old people do get married and so do infertile people.
    3. I don’t see where you have any basis for this.
    4. Again, I don’t see why this is relevant, it’s meaningful if you are your spouse want to be together.
    5. Again, are you in America or some middle eastern country someone told you was America? Women aren’t property, black and whites do get married.
    7. America is not run by religion, in case you haven’t realized that. We have many religions, haven’t you ever heard the expression The Melting Pot?
    8. You are stupid.
    9. Again, you are stupid.
    10. Guess what? you’re stupid, tons of single parents raise children. OBAMA WAS RAISED BY A SINGLE PARENT. HE IS OUR PRESIDENT.
    11. If you haven’t realized that, people have, and will adapt. Humans are the most adaptable species which is why we are so successful.
    12. Read a text book on history, specifically civil rights.

    if this is a joke it’s not funny and is old and clearly you have no life.

    kthxbai.

  9. Jonathan

    wow people are stupid. this list is a joke intended to prove those 12 arguments against gay marriage wrong. the support given for the different reasons is supposed to be sarcastic. way to go people. work on that reading comprehension

  10. Interested Girl

    i can not believe how people can take things so literally. jeeze. are you that dumb that you didn’t see the satire? idiots.

  11. These are utter and complete moronic rationalizations of why not to be gay.

    First of all if it wasn’t natural then it wouldn’t exist.

    Second of all, to even assume that gay parents raising a child will develope their child into homosexuality is beyond being a presumptuous dick.

    Single parents are forbidden to raise children? Hmm…my parents must of missed that note.

    THis is fucking stupid, use your damn brain you morons.

  12. To the people that thought this was serious!!
    This is a list to show why it’s wrong It’s A JOKE!!! It contridicks what the other people say by makeing a joke!! Dumbass!!!!

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