All hail the magical, invisible pink elephant!

Whenever I get frustrated with Christians, it's time to pull out the invisible pink elephant. It's almost as effective as the "step out in front of an oncoming semi and pray/wish/pretend that it goes away" line.

There is an invisible pink elephant floating in my room. You can't see, hear, feel, smell, or touch it, but I can. I know he is real because I found this old book the other day that talks about him, and last night I had a dream where he spoke to me!

All hail the magical, invisible pink elephant!

What?? You don�t believe me!? Well, you just try and prove that he doesn't exist!

P.S.: The elephant is finicky and gets very mad at non-believers. He likes to hide their keys, socks and loose change. But you'll never know that it was him who did it until you start believing in him.

P.P.S: Actually, you believe in the elephant already � everybody does. But there�s a wicked little invisible purple unicorn that puts mean thoughts into your head that the magical invisible pink elephant doesn�t exist. If you ever have any doubts about existence of the pink elephant, it�s the invisible purple unicorn that�s putting them into your head.

P.P.P.S. Did I say the pink elephant likes to hide your loose change? Sorry � it�s actually the mean purple unicorn that made me think that � he�s the one responsible for all the bad things I do.

Down with the mean, invisible purple unicorn!