Federal officials who recently reported that over 140 million Americans are fat are now saying that at least that many are ugly. And the solution they’re proposing is a law that would encourage or even require “facially challenged” citizens to cover up with masks, Weekly World News has learned.
But the news isn’t all bad. According to sources at the Department of Health, Education and Welfare, those among you who are real homely will be able to choose from a wide range of “beauty masks,” including Elvis in his prime, J.Lo, Brad Pitt and Julia Roberts.
The dramatic move comes as the Feds are reeling from a global perception that most Americans are grossly obese when, in fact, only half are.
How can you say that this is bad? I could make good money on Keenan “beauty masks”.
Left by Keenan I. Nichols on January 23rd, 2004