"Coca Cola Pleads with Customers to Stop Buying So Much Coke"

Hoping to avoid shortages of their flagship product, Coca Cola has begun asking consumers to limit their purchases of Coke. “We realize that we have an excellent product and it’s been really hot lately, but please, if you could just cut back a little, it would help a lot,” said company spokeswoman Greta Hansel. “We’re going to have to stop shipping to stores in certain areas pretty soon if people don’t reduce their Coke consumption.”

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