On Sex and Relationships.

I am well aware that I have very unique, and in fact radical views on just about everything when compared to the rest the world. It is hard enough to find friends who share my views, and even harder to find girls who share enough of my view on life to start a relationship with. Until now, I’ve never defined just what traits I’d look for in a partner, so I think it’s about time I gave the matter some thought.

There are probably about 0.0 people on earth who share my exact views, and even if I did find someone who matched all my philosophy exactly, I’d probably be bored to death becuase we’d have very little to talk about! So, looking for someone who matches my positions and values on everything would clearly be unproductive.

If, on the other hand, I ignored my values when looking for a girl, I would not benefit from a relationship any more than if I had found no one at all. If I relied on my good looks, ambition, and money (hah!), I might be able to get a girl in bed without too much trouble, but it would be an empty victory. Sex is neither an end in itself, nor an act solely of friction and hormones, but should be a celebration of shared values, ideals, and achievements. Sleeping with (or just dating) someone who did not share my values, no matter how attractive, would be like getting a big and shiny trophy without having won or deserved it. It might impress the rest of world, but it would only be a facade hiding a lack of self-confidence or true achievement.

Clearly then, any rational person who thinks of love and sex as more than mere social ritual or instinctive urges needs to have a standard for a potential mate, and in the first post dedicated to my personal life in nine months of blogging, I have decided to do just that by narrowing down the essential traits a person would have to have for me to begin a relationship with them. I would probably narrow the qualifications even more for a life partner, but here are the essentials of the “sense of life” that form my prerequisites to a relationship:

  • Gender (sorry guys)
  • Self-confidence.
  • An essentially optimistic view of life.
  • Their own happiness as a major goal in life (as opposed
    to duty)
  • Ambition for the future.
  • A passion for something.
  • Enough intelligence to carry out a serious conversation
    with me.

(Looks matter too, of course, but if attractiveness is
hardwired, there is no point setting standards anyway.)

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